


Bonus round 5 - surprise!

by oyogihodai (alder_knight)



Series: SASO 2016 fills [18]
Category: Free!
Genre: Deliberate Badfic, M/M, Vampires, salt - Freeform, writer is nine thousand percent done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 05:15:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7671508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alder_knight/pseuds/oyogihodai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the fills I'd been working on for this round got disqualified due to a last-minute retroactive clarification of the rules, so I decided to change course a bit on my final contribution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bonus round 5 - surprise!

Once upon a time there was a vampire named Haru, and he was a vampire. One day he bit his friend Rin and they were both vampires.

"Haru," exclaimed Rin, "why did you bite me?"

"I don't know," castigated Haru, "I was bored."

So then they were both vampires, and together they did vampire stuff. They turned into bats and drank blood and listened to Bauhaus. Haru died his hair black but it was already black so nobody could tell but Rin thought it looked cool anyway.

"Thanks babe," said Haru thankfully. Rin winked his eye at him. Rin was very flirtations but only with Haru so don't get any ideas other shippers!!!!1 (rinharu 4 life)

One time Ring left his coffin when it was daytime and the light burned him but he put on really strong suntan lotion and it fucked off. Vampires are bad at swimming because they can't cross running water but Haru and Rin didn't care so they swam anyway. There was an olympic team practicing at the pool. They laughed at Rin's sharp teeth even though they were actually cool vampire fangs so Haru raced them and he went so fast all the water evaporationed out of the pool and the olympics team had to go home.

One time Haru tried to suck blood out of a fish and it didn't really work but he didn't want Rin to find out so he kept bringing fish home and telling Rin how good their blood was.

"MMmm," ejaculated Haru, "wow I sure love this fish blood."

"Gross," cried Rin. "I don't like fish, I like meat, we disagree on so many things which is great for adding easy low-caliber plot conflict to our interactions."

"Your loss," Haru Drawled, and he licked his lips with his tongue even though it kind of hurt when his tounge got poked by his fangs.

Licking his lips was so sexy that Rin yelled, "Haru! Will You Do It With me." and Haru moaned "yes let's do it" and they did it. 

One time Rin turned into a bat and flew over to Sousuke's house and made screechy bat noises until Sousuke came outside and swung a tennis racket at him (don't do that! bats are cool!!!).

"Rin," hollered Haru, "what are you doing"

"Is that you Rin?" queried Sousuke.

Rin bit Sousuke and then he was a vamprie too. THE END???

**Author's Note:**

> *My Immortal plays softly in the background*


End file.
